Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
