Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she smelled like a LAN party
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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