if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
