At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
