Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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