her vagine was all disorganized.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
