is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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