Cold hands, warm shart.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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