Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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