somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
