just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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