whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can i not drive my cunt home
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
