She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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