I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
