did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
