on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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