Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everything about him screamed your future.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
