of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
PANTIES FOUND
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
