i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
