The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
