Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
