How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
