I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
