there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
