The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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