i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
