Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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