He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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