I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
