I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
