It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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