you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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