Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
