I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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