Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
