One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
