if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
