im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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