my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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