I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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