Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
