Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
