why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do vagina's smell?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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