true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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