I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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