she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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