I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The beer is more important than you right now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
