So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ass is underappreciated
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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