Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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