My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
