Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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